Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i don't like sucking hair
ugly people sure do ruin things
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
