Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
this hospital has no fireball
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
