Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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