Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
