It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
