i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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