hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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