C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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