She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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