is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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