she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
