im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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