with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
