Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
