Banned from zoo.
Again?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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