Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
