The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
