Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
