i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
