so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
