If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
