Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
