my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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