mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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