There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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