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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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