No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
