Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i dont even know how to be here
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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