I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
