is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
