im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well you can't waste a boner
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
