i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
