did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
