Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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