i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
