A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
