If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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