His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
