More tranny stories later!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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