I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
