um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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