We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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