Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
