Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
