dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
