If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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