the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
