Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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