a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
