whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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